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Feng Suave’s approved gardening principles

Feng Suave, Untoldency, Untoldency Magazine, Indie, Musik, Blog, Blogger, Online Indie Musik Magazin, fengsuave, so much for gardening, closer pleasures, toking dozing

Heute haben wir ein ganz besonderes Feature für euch, welches auch uns neu ist. Denn anstatt über Bands zu schreiben oder sie zu interviewen (in diesem Fall haben wir das auch schon mal gemacht), haben wir die beiden Daniels von Feng Suave einfach mal selbst was schreiben lassen. Wenn euch Feng Suave noch kein Begriff ist, absolut nicht schlimm, denn eigentlich ist jetzt der perfekte Zeitpunkt, um die sympatischen Holländer ins Herz zu schließen. Mit „So Much For Gardening“ haben sie Ende August ihre neue EP veröffentlicht und in diesem Sinne haben wir zu einem kleinen Gastbeitrag eingeladen. Musikalisch befinden wir uns in super entspannten Alternative/Soul Vibes direkt aus Amsterdam, inhaltlich zwischen Gesellschaftskritik und einfach super lustigen Dudes. Letzteres beweisen sie in im folgenden Text, bei dem wir ihnen völlig freie Hand gelassen haben und selbst wirklich sehr, sehr lachen mussten, als wir ihn gelesen haben.

Feng Suave’s approved gardening principles

1. Flowers look nice but are lame

Okay, firstly, flowers are beautiful. The tragic irony of many beautiful things is that their beauty often leads to their destruction or imprisonment. Ornamental flowers are stupid. They look cosy colourful but are actually dying an unnecessary death in our living rooms. We would suggest changing the symbol to a dying on a table to living lavender in the front yard. Peace.

2. Christmas trees look stupid because they are

There’s nothing wrong with conifers. Conifers are great. But the aforementioned irony extends to their part of the Plant Kingdom as well. Or should we say their neck of the woods? Haha. We digress. A small, prematurely chopped pine tree in the living room is associated with a festive vibe, but is, of course, very, very stupid. Most people have the tree in their house for a few withering winter weeks before shamelessly leaving it out front to be picked up on bin day. The worst part is how pathetic and disconnected a reenactment it is of the original prehistoric tradition of tribes gifting each other a tree to bear fruit for a generation. It also has nothing to do with that bloke called Jesus. We’re willing to bet he never even saw a Christmas tree in ancient Palestine. 

3. All things soy suck

Only 7% or soy produced for human consumption as tofu, tempeh, pi pa po… A lot of prime forest is making way for soy plantations to be harvested for fodder. Fodder! There are, of course, also those who claim that soy products give men boobies, but we’re not sure about that.

4. Golf courses (in most climates) are really, really, stupid

Golf courses demand excessive delicacy, care, energy and resources to be considered acceptable by the fastidious elites of the developed world. Many golf courses are in climates where they absolutely don’t need to be (I’m looking at you, Portugal and California). Ridiculous! Maintaining a highly manicured football pitch in Qatar is also considered a crime against humanity by Feng Suave.

5. Weeds don’t exist

We would love to invite all the happy people of planet earth to accept that weeds are just more free plants. We fully understand the need to remove them from your veggie garden, but when your tiled backyard, sidewalk or local playground displays some of that lovely green colour, look inside your heart and learn to give these lovely little plants some of the much-needed appreciation they deserve. People are conditioned to look down upon weeds as just being parasitic sidewalk intruders, which is a bloody shame. We vote green.


Zusätzlich oder vielleicht eher Hand in Hand gehend zu diesen 5 sehr reasonablen Punkten könnt ihr euch hier noch ein paar weitere Tipps der Band abholen:


Wenn die beiden Daniels euch damit mindestens ein Mal zum Lächeln bringen konnten, dann bringt sie zum Lächeln und hört hier rein:

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